Unexpected Surprise
by wolfenqueenyuri
Summary: Regina and Gold deal with some alarming news. Golden Queen with mentions of Hook x Cora. Post "Queen of Hearts" AU


Author's note: When I realized that I started to ship Hook and Cora as well as Golden Queen, I just had to write Rum and Regina's reactions to finding out their enemies were *dating*. Combine that with a little holiday spirit, and this was the result.

Unexpected Surprise

Aiden Gold could hear his wife, Regina, on the phone in her office when he returned home at the end of the day, and judging by the tense tone of her voice: it was not a pleasant conversation she was engaging in.

He kept quiet as he made his way to the kitchen, intent on making some tea for both of them so she could relax after whatever business she was dealing with was done.

Once the water was in the kettle and placed on the stove, he turned the heat on and leaned back against the counter to wait.

Sure enough: Regina walked into the kitchen moments later, looking incredibly stressed.

"I'm making us some tea," he explained, his tone light: as if the beverage was the answer to everything.

His beloved gave him a look, and then sighed heavily before turning to search through the cabinets. "I'm afraid we're going to need something much stronger than tea, darling."

He watched her as she rummaged, and arched his eyebrows significantly when she emerged with a bottle of the strongest Scotch that they owned. "Rough business meeting?"

"In a manner of speaking," she muttered, pouring a glass for herself and then doing the same for him.

He accepted the drink and followed her over to the kitchen table, where they both sat down. "What's going on, love?"

"My mother's coming to town for the holidays," she announced, before taking a long swig of alcohol and then refilling her glass.

He nearly choked on the sip he was taking of his own drink. "She's _what?!_"

"And worse: she's not coming alone." Regina took another gulp.

He reached for the bottle himself after downing the contents of his glass. "I'm terrified to ask you what you mean."

"My mother…has a new boyfriend."

This time he _did_ choke, and the next few minutes were spent with his wife patting him on the back as he wheezed for air.

"Sorry…" Regina winced. "I probably should have prefaced that with a disclaimer of some sort."

"I'm not sure a disclaimer would have helped much," he managed.

Sighing, Regina nodded and rose to get her husband a glass of water.

He accepted it from her with a grateful expression, and took a few sips before speaking again. "So…who's this unlucky bastard Cora's manipulated into sleeping with her?"

She shrugged. "I don't know much about him other than his name: Killian Jones."

That got a definite reaction as Aiden spat out his drink, "YOUR MOTHER IS DATING CAPTAIN HOOK?!"

Regina stared at the love of her life, shocked by this unexpected news and by the nature of his outburst.

He did his best to calm down when he realized that she had no idea that Killian was the pirate captain's real name. "You told me you met him once, didn't you?"

"Briefly, right before I sent him to…" suddenly it all clicked into place and her expression darkened. "That _bastard. _He tricked me!"

"You're going to have to explain a little better than that, dearest." Aiden reached for the bottle of scotch, poured more into his glass, and then refilled his wife's drink for good measure.

"I sent him to Wonderland to kill my mother. He brought the body back and everything and now, if what you're telling me is correct: he never murdered her to begin with. I _knew_ I should have asked him to bring back her heart instead of her body."

"Well who's to say that he wouldn't have taken another's heart after your mother seduced him to her side?" the pawnbroker reached out and gave her shoulder a squeeze. "Don't be so hard on yourself. He's tricked many over the years, including me."

"He tricked you?" Regina brought her eyes to his.

"A long time ago…and now it appears that both of our mortal enemies are not only coming to visit, but are sleeping with each other," Aiden shuddered unpleasantly at the thought and took another long drink.

Regina grimaced and downed her own glass. "We really do suffer from the worst luck at times, don't we darling?"

He just nodded.

"All right…we need to focus," she bit at her lower lip in thought. "How are _we_ going to get through the holidays in one piece?"

"You mean besides drinking ourselves under the table?" he gestured at the rapidly emptying bottle in front of them.

"…I could make poisoned egg-nog…" she mused, but then cursed softly. "Wait. Scratch that. Mother's lactose intolerant. Besides I don't want to kill ALL of our company. Just them."

"Not to mention it would be difficult to get rid of the bodies during a Christmas party."

"We could ask Red to wolf out and eat them," Regina's tone sounded far too casual for someone plotting her own mother's demise.

"I'm not sure Belle would forgive us if we did that," Aiden admitted, before swallowing what remained of his beverage and then standing.

She blinked curiously when he shrugged out of his jacket, and then undid his tie. "Honey? What are you doing?"

He gave her a significant look. "In order to focus properly on this, I need to clear my head first; and the only way I'm going to erase a rather disturbing image involving your mother and that meddling pirate…is by getting you naked."

She saw the mischief in his eyes, which caused her to smirk, rise, and then beckon him forward. "I'm enjoying your line of thinking right now."

He didn't need any further encouragement to gather her into his arms and distract her entirely for the next few hours.

"Well…" Regina gazed up at the kitchen ceiling, curling further into Aiden's arms and tracing invisible figures over his bare chest. "I'm all out of ideas, how about you?"

In between the multiple rounds of lovemaking the couple had engaged in, they'd discussed as many options as possible regarding their predicament, and while they were both sated and content in one respect: they hadn't discovered an answer for what troubled them.

The pawnbroker gathered his wife as close as possible, his brow furrowing in thought. "I still like your idea about letting Red eat them."

She bit back a laugh. "I admit, it would be fun to watch…but this requires a little more finesse."

He glanced at her, nuzzling his nose to hers affectionately. "Well…if you change the dinner menu around a little, you could get away with poisoning them both without risking the lives of the other guests."

Regina smiled. "Only you can plot murder and be affectionate at the same time."

"It's a gift," he shrugged, chuckling softly before kissing her tenderly.

Sighing against Aiden's mouth, Regina threaded her fingers into his hair to tug him closer as the embrace deepened, giggling when her husband shifted so that he could bear her back onto the table.

She pulled away for air, her hands travelling along the lean muscle of his chest while she reveled in the sensation of his skin against hers. "I suppose if I went with game hens instead of turkey I could make some special preparations. The trick is making it so they don't suspect anything."

"That's easy. If the seasoning is strong enough, it'll mask any taste the poison may have. This has always been your specialty, my love…just trust in your instincts and your desire to be rid of that woman once and for all."

She arched an eyebrow. "And you think it'll be as easy as that?"

"Well that and you'll have my assistance, as always."

Her heart fluttered at his words, and she drew him back to her for a kiss that properly conveyed her gratitude. "Let's just focus on making our holidays special, even with this unexpected surprise, all right?"

"You have a deal, my dear," he grinned, and then turned his attention to more pleasant pursuits: namely her.

The End


End file.
